This sensation is akin to coming home, feeling absurdly wired for several days, continuing to wake up at 6AM despite not having to, and then crashing. HARD. and sleeping for, like, three days straight. And only ever thinking about sleeping. It's all you can do to stay awake for four hours straight. Even with ten cups of coffee.
Anyway, I got back into the swing of things, after sulking around the house and consuming copious amounts of Xanax, on Wednesday, when I wandered out to the barn for some horsey therapy in the form of the cutest pony on earth, Riley.
It was a good reminder that my life doesn't totally suck (despite my illogical brain telling me WAH LIFE SUCKS EAT MORE XANAX.)
Riley was awesome Wednesday, though totally wild. I let him run around and he bucked and leapt and struck out (not at me, mind you, just at the air) and reared and galloped and galloped and galloped. He was still looking quite bright eyed, but I hopped on bareback and did the whole ~horsey connection~ thing which was just nice. We did canter half passes (good ones!) bareback and I somehow ended up riding forever. Still sore. Gentle sob.
Anyway this week also heralded the return of the Assistant from Wellington, which means jumping and lessons again! Yay!
Riley and I had one earlier today, and after what can only be termed one of the shittier weeks of my life, I was totally expecting to fall off and break my neck, because that's just how my luck has been going this week.
Instead, we managed to have a perfectly pleasant jump school with only a few "SCREEEEEE I'M JUMPING AGAIN!!!!!!" moments from Riley, who mainly acted these out fairly kindly and upon landing.
We did enough actually, and ended up jumping some verticals around 1m, which I was pretty okay with for our first "real" jump school back in a few months. He was pretty good, and mostly listening. We did some lines and rollbacks and stuff too, and though he wasn't totally attuned, he got better as we progressed.
I had a moment of clarity, though. Even though Riley is safe and fun, I get a little thrill of fear when I jump him... even over low jumps. When the jumps went up, even a few notches, I went "oh noes" despite knowing that I can get him there well, he can jump it, and that it's probably going to be just fine.
I didn't have that with Uno. Not even once. And he was a new horse that I didn't even know.
The Assistant mentioned a trip out eastward to try a few horses soon, and although I still feel mildly funereal about the whole thing, it's nice to know there's something new on the horizon to take my mind off what did not come to pass. So... we'll see?
In last but not least news, the Global Champions Tour Miami Beach happened this past week. Trainer was there attempting to win some serious cash but unfortunately it was not his week. I stand by the fact that it's because he hasn't been wearing the lucky (because I said so) tie bar that I got for him.... and am seriously starting to wonder if he lost it. The good news is, he now wears an absurd diaper pin because I told him his tie flying out irritates the living crap out of me. So that's kind of cute. Losing the tie bar is less cute.
Anyway, the Miami Beach location is ridiculous. Right on the beach and people can wander up from wherever. Kind of cool, really. It looks incredibly warm though! #notjealous